As a 42-year-old woman, I have come to realize that over the years dating seems to have become harder. It nothing like when I was in high school, that’s for sure, but I honestly didn’t know it would be this bad either.
Just recently I have had some particularly bad dating experiences that I thought I would share with you today.
Keep in mind that of the three gentlemen that I’m writing about, I have not met one of them. That’s problem number one. It turned out to be a good thing in my case, but seriously, people want to get to know you via the Internet and by text and phone — getting to actually meet — that doesn’t happen much.
I met two of the three on a free dating site. That is probably part of the problem, because when people don’t pay, they don’t have stock in it.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I believe I’m a good person, have a fun and interesting job and am easy to get along with, most days anyway. I own my own home and car. I’m a great cook and believe in eating healthy and staying fit. You’d think these are all qualities being sought after by the opposite sex, right? Not so much, I guess.
Let’s start with guy #1. We’ll call him Mr. Cheapskate. I met him on the aforementioned dating website. After a couple of email exchanges, he asked for my phone number and I gave it to him. One of the first ways he went wrong was that he admitted to copying his profile from a friend who was successful on that site. I appreciated the honesty, but seriously, I would have never known.
It wasn’t long before he sent the profile that he, who calls himself a writer, but is really a temporary worker, wrote and it wasn’t bad. The only part that kind of freaked me out is that he said he would love to brush a woman’s hair until it shined. Am I the only one here who thinks this really creepy?
Cheapskate told me that since he is a temp worker, which there is nothing wrong with, he didn’t have a lot of money for dating. Now this guy lived on the other side of Winston. I’m not sure he’s seen the price of gas, but his financial situation did not sound conducive to dating a girl in Mount Airy.
So, for our first meeting, he asked me where I would like to meet. I was going to meet him on the way back from my recent trip to Myrtle Beach, so I suggested Finnegan’s Wake in downtown Winston because I’ve eaten there and I thought the prices were great for the food. I hadn’t planned on getting anything other than an appetizer or a sandwich, which I explained. But, he later asked if I would eat at another restaurant that was easier on his budget. No, it wasn’t McDonalds, but not somewhere I would consider meeting someone for the first time. Let’s just say the atmosphere at this restaurant was just not my cup of tea. When I explained that I would not especially be inclined to dine at this place, I could tell his demeanor changed.
The next day, he sent me an email on the dating site to say that after my “foodie attitude” that I should never contact him again. Wow. OK, next.
I’ll call the second fella Mr. Texter. I met him from that same website and he seemed OK. We talked on the phone a few times, but he mostly liked to text. He never did make a time for us to meet, but one night he got brave and sent me a text that was not gentlemanly at all. I explained that was not a way to approach a lady and that if he really wanted to get to know me, he should back up and punt.
Is it old-fashioned for people to go on dates anymore, or are we all in such a hurry that we just want to skip ahead? Personally, I really want to get to know someone if I’m going to spend any time with them, if nothing else, just to see is there is any chemistry there or if insanity runs in the family. Let’s have some priorities people.
Guy #3 is a local. For the sake of my column, I’ll call him Dr. Hide. This guy called me at work a while back to tell me about the dog he lost. He seemed sweet. A few weeks later he added me as a friend of Facebook. I thought nothing of it.
It wasn’t long before he started chatting with me on Facebook. One day he asked for my number. I obliged. He said he wanted to meet me one night, but when that night came, he didn’t call until around 10:30 p.m. when it was too late for all that. He explained that he got all wrapped up in talking to his parents and asked if we could we meet another night.
Another meeting night was set up, yet he never called to say where and when. I cannot believe I’m admitting this, but it happened yet again. By the third time, I was SO done. I should have said no after the first time, I know.
I believe the reason this was happening is that he had sent a couple of nice cowboy-type pictures, but oddly enough, he would never show his face. When I asked him about this, he said he’d set the timer on his phone and it just turned out that way. I guess I really did fall off the turnip truck.
Needless to say, I never met Dr. Hide either. My first guess is that those pictures weren’t of him at all.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that dating for me has been more trouble than it’s worth.
I know that I have stepped on a lot of toes here and I didn’t mean to, but for those of you, men or women who are out there in the dating world, you know what I’m talking about. I know that I have about had enough of dating for now. I may just give it a rest for a while.
Mondee Tilley is a staff reporter with The Mount Airy News. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 719-1930.