It’s amazing to me how certain segments of our society who are always advocating tolerance tend to be the LEAST-tolerant of all when it comes to others criticizing or even questioning their beliefs.
Another example of that has surfaced in the wake of this week’s vote by North Carolinians to make marriage between one man and one woman the only constitutionally recognized union in the state.
Naturally, this event touched off the usual nationwide debate over whether same-sex marriage should be allowed or not. Among those weighing in on the matter have been Barack Obama and presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney.
Meanwhile, North Carolina has been taking a bashing from various and sundry comedians and political pundits for its supposedly backward stance on the issue.
I have said in this space before that I don’t care what consenting adults — of any sexual persuasion — do in the privacy of their own homes and believe people should be allowed to practice alternative lifestyles free of ridicule.
But in terms of incorporating this into public policy, those who favor same-sex marriage have got to understand that the will of the people at large must be taken into account. That’s how things work in a democracy, and those who don’t support this principle should consider the situation in places such as China, where expressing non-traditional points of view isn’t permitted at all.
Certainly democracy was on full display in the Tar Heel State Tuesday when voters approved the concept of traditional marriage by a large margin, while rejecting same-sex unions. Some 61 percent, or 1.3 million voters, were in favor of the marriage amendment, compared to 39 percent (833,120) opposed.
Now, with all the publicity that surrounded this measure over the past month, you’d have to figure those on both sides of the debate had an ample opportunity to adequately make their case and encourage their respective supporters to cast ballots. We’ve seen this same process work with individual political candidates and issues such as mixed-drink proposals that have been held in various communities.
When the votes are counted, people generally accept the results — knowing that whether they like the outcome or not, the democratic process has been allowed to function.
Somehow, such a reconciliation has not been achieved in the aftermath of North Carolina’s marriage vote. This has surfaced not only around the state and nation but in Surry County, where the marriage amendment drew even more support than North Carolina as a whole — passing by a margin of 78 to 62 percent.
Yet this reality hasn’t stopped a local gay-rights advocate to vow that the battle over same-sex marriage has only just begun and North Carolinians are in for a long fight.
Excuse me? Didn’t we just have a referendum on this, and hasn’t the will of the people already been fully exhibited?
Had the vote gone the other way, I’m sure there would’ve been lots of commentary about how well the democratic process worked in this case and what a great, progressive example North Carolina has set for the rest of the nation.
As it is, we’re being ridiculed as ignorant and backward, although 31 of the 50 states now have constitutional amendments banning gay marriage.
However, what’s been really disturbing is that while it’s seemed perfectly fashionable to bash North Carolina and attack those who supported the marriage amendment, people taking the opposite view have been vilified.
For example, Bristol Palin — the daughter of former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin — has been blasted over comments in which she basically had the unmitigated audacity to speak out against Obama’s decision to support gay marriage.
Among Bristol Palin’s remarks: “We know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.” There is really nothing wrong with such a statement.
Yet she was attacked by various celebrities, including one who said, “Bristol should keep her uneducated ignorant mouth shut,” and called her a hypocrite for having a child out of wedlock.
Well, Bristol Palin might not be the next Albert Einstein, but she has as much right to express her opinion on various issues, and not be hammered in return, as any other public figure — particularly liberal-leaning celebrities.
Since different activists representing one downtrodden group or another are always preaching tolerance, shouldn’t this also include being tolerant of those with opposing views? Of course, anyone can see that a double-standard exists, in which tolerance is reserved only for certain minority groups or radical elements who always get a free pass simply because of that status.
And when THEY have the opportunity to be tolerant, what happens? These folks instead unleash a torrent of criticism against anyone who doesn’t adhere to their views. If Bristol Palin is truly “uneducated” and “ignorant,” shouldn’t some of their great compassion come her way as well?
Those who are whining about this week’s vote in North Carolina remind me of the bad losers we all encountered while growing up and playing various childhood games.
I guess the only way to satisfy them is to hold a new vote on gay marriage every other month, or somehow rig the situation until they finally win — if ever.
Tom Joyce is a staff reporter for The Mount Airy News. He can be reached at 719-1924 or tjoyce@heartlandpublications.com.







The fact that you are paid to write this type of garbage is appalling to me. I'm quite glad that I do not have a subscription.
I'll make a few suggestions. First we'll pressure these bigots into silence and if they dare speak up, we'll call them vile names and have the ACLU bankrupt them in court. Next, start media campaigns that project only one world view and any whom disagrees will be portrayed as bigots. We will employ teachers, professors and instructors to only teach one narrow world view. We will mock and ridicule any student that is brave enough to speak up. I could continue but you get the point. Oops! I'm sorry my suggestions are outdated, this has been going on for decades now.
What is next? What will our society do with this segment of our population? Peer pressure, education and defamation isn''t accomplishing the desired results soon enough - what more can be done?
Perhaps we can create new laws to deem these bigots terrorist and exterminate these non-progressive, non-tolerant, non-human elements of our desired greater society. Sounds extreme, I know! But history has been very extreme, let's not forget it!
Seriously speaking, I'll end with saying, let us respect one another. However, to the non-bigots, this would include respecting institutions that have been in place for thousands of years. Can you please be tolerant?
To compare the passage of Amendment One to the passing of an ordinance governing Mixed Alcoholic Beverages is like comparing apples to oranges. One is an Equal/Human Rights issue and the other is a Drug Control issue.
The politically correct comparison would be the passing of NC Amendment One to the NC Amendment Banning Interracial Marriage in 1875 (Both are wrong) and I’m content with accepting the 2 US Supreme Court rulings coming this year that will repeal DOMA and ultimately result in Homosexuals being added as a protected class. My prayers are that it be done before Amendment One takes effect.
Comparing Mixed Alcoholic Beverages to Public Smoking Bans to legalizing Medicinal Marijuana would be correct. All 3 ARE Drug Control Issues and should be subject to a popular vote.
Smoking and Drinking are a choice. Race and Homosexuality are not.
Let’s try comparing Lemons to Lemons & Limes to Limes. All are bitter fruit and require different remedies to make them sweet.
More than those who voted for this ill-conceived amendment, I'm more ill with those who chose to stay home and not vote. That apathy toward one's fellow man & woman is pathetic. People in other countries walk miles to cast a vote; people died in this country for the right to vote. Get educated & vote. No excuses!
So long as anyone in this country lacks a right that I, as a straight white female married 34 years to the same man, enjoy: to marry, inherit, share economic benefits, or fully share a life - that's unjust. Until such a time may come, it's not wrong for those who believe discrimination is wrong to voice their opinions and work for change. It is not wrong for women to continue to seek full equality, it was not wrong for people of color to seek equal rights, and it was not wrong for the courts to rule as they did in Loving vs. Virginia. Certainly we've witnessed in years past that the courts had to overturn injustice, and this issue may require such action as well. So I'm surprised that Mr. Joyce is so dismissive of the dignity and rights of a segment of the population.
The rights, privileges, and benefits denied by this amendment are important, vitally so in some cases, to all of us to some degree. We should all take note when a right is lost or denied. We will all pay in some fashion for the court cases that will result, for the health care that may need to be sourced at public expense, for the lost productivity and human toll resulting from domestic violence.
I agree with Mr. Joyce that the quality of discourse on this issue has been less than stellar at times. It's a complicated issue that taps into a lot of emotions, that cuts across a lot of the demarcations we take for granted. Everyone weighing in should do all they can to listen to others and choose words with care, and to be civil and respectful.
Bristol Palin's opinion is just that: her opinion, and people are welcome to evaluate the importance of it in light of her life choices. I wish her well, and hope she will choose to continue her education so she can give her child the best life possible. Children should all have the best life possible, and while a two parent traditional household may be wonderful, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes a divorce is the best thing for a family. Sometimes the best household is two same sex parents, or a single parent. It really isn't a one size fits all world. What we should all do is support each & every parent because in so doing we support all children.
I grew up in Surry county, raised by parents who loved each other til they died, and if I knew any gay people I didn't know it. When I went away to college, I met people from other countries, other backgrounds, and other lifestyles. When I focused on the differences I felt fearful, but when I chose to see the similarities, the shared dreams, the common humanity, then I could love my neighbor and want them to enjoy what I take for granted.
"I will continue to whine and fight while you preach from the bully pulpit."
I don't see how Mr. Joyce's column is bullying in any way. He made two points: North Carolinians voted in favor of traditional marriage, and the people who "preach" tolerance should be tolerant of other viewpoints.
"How long would slavery laws, laws denying women the right to vote, or anti-miscegenation laws[...]"
I wish - and I say this with the utmost respect - people would drop the comparisons between laws concerning gay marriage, slavery and racial segregation. I understand gay couples - at least in NC - cannot enter into a legal union. But they can enjoy most other legal rights, including the option to live together. How does that compare to the oppression and humiliation African-Americans endured? It doesn't.
On a side note, I'm not sure Mr. Joyce should have used Bristol Palin as an example for his column. She's not exactly a role model for ideal parenting, especially given the, for lack of a better word, jerk with whom she had a son.
We do not live in a true 'democracy'; we live in a republic and at the national level and in almost every State, a republic with three branches of government.
The fight is not over because there are still higher powers that can overturn the North Carolina law and the laws of the 30 other States.
And just because a majority of citizens voted in support of a law, doesn't mean that law is right or just. How long would slavery laws, laws denying women the right to vote, or anti-miscegenation laws remained in certain States if they weren't overturned by a higher power?
As for your defense of Bristol Palin, I am totally tolerant of her right to say anything she wants, but when her statement is patently false and unsupported by fact, she opens herself (and by way of support, yourself) to criticism. Based on what pool of evidence do we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home? I agree that children are better off in a TWO parent home, but Bristol's statement implies that a male and a female heterosexual couple are superior at raising children - that is her belief, but that isn't fact. As for giving her compassion, Bristol chose to enter the public political arena I believe to further her own public ambitions. If she can't handle criticism, then don't enter the debate.
As for those 'whining' about the decision in North Carolina, it's their right. We live in a free society where we can vocally express our beliefs, even to the annoyance of others.
As a gay man and supporter of same-sex marriage, I will continue to whine and fight while you preach from the bully pulpit. Supporters of same-sex marriage will continue to use every legal opportunity, as is our right, to change the law that the system affords us. We don't need to 'rig' anything. (Whose a 'bad winner' when you need to make comments like that?)
I actually challenge you Mr. Joyce... Go spend the day with three gay families, come back and write an article then about why those families should be denied protection under the law, a law passed by the majority. I doubt you would be able to do it.
Respectfully,
Wyatt M.